What is a Filter?

In Webster’s dictionary, the definition of filter, when used as a noun, is something that has the effect of a filter (as by holding back elements or modifying the appearance of something).

The definition of filter, when used as a verb, is to remove by means of a filter.

So using a filter, or filtering, removes pieces leaving a modified product.

What is Filtering in Reference to Fiction?

In the same way a physical filter removes pieces and modifies a product, filtering in fiction removes something from the story and prevents it from getting to the reader.

The Writer Mag quoted Janet Burroway, co-author of Writing Fiction, “As a fiction writer you will often be working through ‘some observing consciousness’. Yet when you step back and ask readers to step back and observe the observer—to look at [the character] rather than through the character—you start to tell-not-show and rip us briefly out of the scene.”

Author Emma Darwin breaks filter words into two categories.

• Physical Filter Words – such as saw, hear, watch, observe, look, etc.
• Thinking-Filter Words – such as wonder, decide, consider, thought, seem, realize, think, remember, recall, etc.

These words put distance between the reader and the action, filtering it through the character instead of allowing the reader to experience the action alongside the character.

Simple Filtering Examples and Rewrites

I’m going to give some very simple examples. Including a follow-up example using a stronger verb and more specificity. These are just examples and not exemplary craft, just meant to give some insight. This is also not complete list of filter words.

• Saw
  • Filtered: I saw him running toward me.
  • Unfiltered: He ran toward me.
  • Unfiltered Better: He opened his arms wide and sprinted toward me.
• Hear
  • Filtered: I heard birds chirping out the open window.
  • Unfiltered: Birds chirped out the open window.
  • Unfiltered Better: Songbirds greeted me through the open, screenless window.
• Watch
  • Filtered: She watched the man dart behind a tree.
  • Unfiltered: The man darted behind a tree.
  • Unfiltered Better: The dark cloaked man darted behind a massive oak tree.
• Observe
  • Filtered: He observed the students cheering for their winning team.
  • Unfiltered: The students cheered at their teams’ win.
  • Unfiltered Better: Wild fans cheered as they stormed the field to celebrate the Bulldogs’ win.
• Look
  • Filtered: She looked at him then crinkled her brows.
  • Unfiltered: She crinkled her brows.
  • Unfiltered Better: She cocked her head and crinkled her manicured brows.
• Wonder
  • Filtered: I wondered if I’d ever see him again.
  • Unfiltered: Would I ever see him again?
  • Unfiltered Better: She pressed her wet face into her silk pillow not sure if she’d ever see him again.
• Decide
  • Filtered: He decided to go the football gam.
  • Unfiltered: He went to the football game.
  • Unfiltered Better: With the Bulldogs favored to win, nothing would stand in his way of cheering his team to victory.
• Felt
  • Filtered: She felt her pulse quicken.
  • Unfiltered: Her pulse quickened.
  • Unfiltered Better: Her pulse quickened each time he brushed up against her.

A Scene Rewrite

My YA debut WORTH IT launches in 2024, and while there will likely be some revisions to the final, I wanted to show an example of a scene rewrite minimizing filter language.

The first scene under Filtered I wrote using a heavy amount of filtering language in bold. It’s a little hyperbolic, but I’m trying to make a point here. The second under Unfiltered I copied from my final manuscript.

Hopefully this example demonstrates the power of minimizing filter language for a more immersive reader experience.

Filtered

I felt a shiver run down my spine when I heard the door creak and boots clunk on the hardwood floor. I decided to cover myself with the quilt and pretend I was asleep.

I saw someone stumble into the kitchen and open the fridge. The light showed me who it was. I watched him snatch a beer and then he seemed to examine the picture on the fridge.

I felt my chest pound as he seemed to move toward the couch. Toward me.

He didn’t notice my bony legs under the quilt and when he tried to sit he tumbled forward. “Whoa.” He steadied himself. “I didn’t know you were babysitting tonight.” Pale moonlight showed his crooked smile. “But it’s a nice treat you are.”

Unfiltered

A shiver ran down my spine when the door creaked, and boots clunked on the hardwood floor. I narrowed my eyes and tugged a frayed quilt up to my nose.

Someone stumbled into the kitchen. The open fridge’s light confirmed who I thought—who I’d hoped—it was. He snatched a beer and slammed the door. He stood for a moment, studying the picture I’d attached to the fridge. Then his dark silhouette moved toward the couch.

Toward me.

My chest pounded.

He tried to sit but tumbled forward at my bony legs hidden under the quilt. “Whoa.” He steadied himself. “I didn’t know you were babysitting tonight.” The pale moonlight revealed a crooked smile that mirrored my desire. “But it’s a nice treat you are.”

Is All Filter Language Bad?

No. But use it sparingly.

Filter language can be used as a tool when the writer uses it as a literary device for the reader to see what’s happening through the lens of the character as opposed to experiencing it along with them.

In Dialogue

Authors may use filter language in dialogue. It can soften a difficult conversation. Instead of a character saying, “What you said was rude.” The character might say, “What you said made me feel disrespected.” In this instance, the character is using filter language to get their message across without attacking the character they are speaking to.

In Context

Additionally, it may be necessary for the meaning of the sentence. “He watched as she danced under the moonlight.” If the author wrote, “She danced under the moonlight” the reader loses the image of the man fixating on her dancing.

The Bottom Line

Heavy use of filter language may prevent agents, editors, and readers from feeling immersed in the story. If querying, this could impact your success. If self-publishing, this could impact your sales.

However, if you revise your manuscript and work to minimize the use of filter language, except when necessary, you’ll elevate your craft and your chances at scoring that publishing deal and getting those book sales!

A book you finish reading is not the same book as before you read it.

David Mitchell